Energy

One week passed from Diego’s pseudo surrender evaluation, and it was time to take him back to see Adam, the trainer, in his group class. I attached the leash to Diego’s collar, rather than the orange harness he came in, as Adam had instructed. The week before I was too scared to do it, being so close to his teeth after our recent incident.

The fall weather was changing with the cool damp air, and Purvasha and I decided to walk into the training room first and found out class would be inside. We approached Adam, watching Diego sniff him as Adam calmly lowered himself to pet him, palms open, looking at ease. I felt crazy. Yes, he’s a trainer so he should be good with dogs, but you would think I was a liar if I told you that Diego’s behavior was questionable enough to be surrendered. It was such a mind game. We would participate in the class and then discuss the surrender process.

A few people with dogs came in as we sat along the wall, recognizing a some from the previous week. It was a small group, and Adam had us spread out, introduce ourselves, and say what brought us there. I pictured it like an AA meeting, but for dogs. I don’t mean that to sound insensitive. It just isn’t a high moment saying, “Hi, I’m Megan, and this is Diego. I’m bringing him to this class for a surrender evaluation after he bit my roommate Purvasha last week, and Adam is helping determine if he is aggressive.” Everyone else was there trying to work through their challenges, and I was giving up.

Then Adam had us start by working on our breathing. We were not to focus on our dogs but just in-2-3-4-5-6, hold, and out 2-3… The lesson being that dogs pick up on energy, and if the person is calm, they will be calm. I felt like I had walked into a yoga class, but the calm was hard to keep for long. One dog would lock eyes from another and start barking, then the others would join in. All the way, we tried to work on our breath.

When we switched from our breathing, we moved to taking a couple steps with our dog and then perfecting the “leash snap” when they lost focus. This move was not a shining moment.

Picture this—your dog locks in on a dog from the other side of the room, and the one bares its teeth. Your dog’s hair rises and it lunges forwards, barking uncontrollably. When it doesn’t respond to your voice, you lightly snap the leash to break his focus and get his attention. Now the key here is lightly, not to cause any harm, but just some movement and distraction. The trainer has it down to an art. Whereas when your dog is pulling its leash tightly and you have never snapped a leash before you end up yanking it around the collar and potentially causing more stress. I “got lucky” on the first couple tries and Diego would bounce around and look at me, and once I got his eye contact he would sit and temporarily relax. Then he would lock eyes with another dog, and it would happen all over again.

The last skill we worked on was asking for permission. The trick was to hold a treat in your closed hand and the dog would have to sit calmly with soft eyes and ask for the treat. They don’t get it by poking your hand with their noses, pawing you, or demand barking. You wait them out until they ask. It could take minutes the first few times. Then you give them the treat and praise them. It was challenging for us at first since I was still under the impression that Diego didn’t care about food rewards. He so often spat out treats. It was a slow game for us, but by comparison he seemed to be doing better than a couple of the other dogs, and some of them had been there longer.

The end of the class neared and Adam came to watch us. I was self conscious, talking to him and feeling on the spot, I kept rewarding Diego at the wrong time. Adam asked to take his leash and walked him away from me, surprised by how bothered Diego was. He wanted to run back, but Adam said that moving forward was a reward so Diego had to relax before he would take another step near me. This was a tiny room, and they were not getting closer any time soon. “Well, he knows who mom is.” He acknowledged that he had bonded to me very quickly, and was ready to discuss the evaluation. He thought Diego seemed trainable, and he had seen a dog like him before. I could try bringing him back to his class for the next few weeks, and we could evaluate again at the end of it. I had to agree that he seemed better. How could I not give it a chance?

What I wish I knew then

Dogs do pick up on energy. I truly believe that.

When I am stressed, Diego feels that and reacts. When I am calm and at ease, he is generally more at peace. When you are wondering if you have an aggressive dog, it is incredibly hard to control your energy even if you know that or not, and you can’t give your energy too much weight in my opinion. When Diego’s triggers stack up, it does not matter if I just got back from a massage on a beach vacation, he is going to react. Now my reaction can definitely make things worse if I yell or get jumpy, but my overall good vibes are not going to stop him from struggling.

I spent weeks, maybe months, blaming myself for not being able to get it together and relax enough or be “alpha” enough to get him to stop lunging on walks or trying to suicide jump in front of large vehicles. One of the group classes, I literally walked into the room as calm as I could be at that time. The other trainer walked past and Diego nipped him in the butt! He was quiet and didn’t bark. Just a quick nip—and then I felt like I was getting schooled in how I need to control my emotions so he knows everything is okay, and I need to show so much love and positive energy towards the things that were triggering him, and he would fall in line. Excuse me, but I call bullshit.

If you’ve struggled with this, go easy on yourself. The reality is you are a superhero in my book if you have that much emotional control. And surprise—what works with most dogs, still might not work instantly for yours or mine. We are not professionals! I’ve gotten better. Instances that once shocked me, don’t anymore. I have been able to level out more quickly when things happen, not viewing every time Diego gets triggered as a reflection of my failure. It takes patience and practice.